Thursday, May 31, 2007

Thursday Thirteen...Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

In honor of Gus' Nurse Sally...who can quote Napoleon Dynamite like there is no tomorrow, I decided to choose quotes from the movie!

Vern: What are you going to do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Whatever I feel like I want to do! Gosh!

Napoleon Dynamite: Hey, can I use your guys' phone for a sec?
Secretary: Is there anything wrong?
Napoleon: I don't feel very good. [takes telephone and dials number]
Kip: [on other line, making nachos] Hi.
Napoleon: Is grandma there?
Kip: No, she's getting her hair done.
Napoleon: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Kip: What do you need?
Napoleon: Can you just go get her for me?
Kip: I'm really busy right now.
Napoleon: Just tell her to come get me.
Kip: Why?
Napoleon: 'Cause I don't feel good!
Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
Napoleon: No, she doesn't know anything… Will you just come get me?
Kip: No.
Napoleon: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip: See ya.
Napoleon: Ugh! Idiot!

Napoleon: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip!
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous 'cause I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to become a cage fighter.
Napoleon: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

Deb: And here we have some boondoggle keychains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
Napoleon: I already made, like, infinity of those at scout camp.

Napoleon: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Knock it off, Napoleon! Make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!
Napoleon: Fine!

Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon: No. Not unless she likes fish.

Uncle Rico: Napoleon, it looks like you don't have a job. So, why don't you go out there and feed Tina?
Napoleon: Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap?

Napoleon: Why do you got your hood on like that?
Pedro: Well, when I came home from school, my head started to get really hot. So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. So I laid in the bathtub for a while, but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head hot. So I went in the kitchen, and I shaved it all off and I don't want no one to see.

Rex: At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?
[points to Kip]
Rex: Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff.

Napoleon Dynamite: Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

Napoleon Dynamite: I caught you a delicious bass.

Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, go find your own.
Randy: Come on, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat anything today.
Randy: [kicks the tots]
Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Gross! Freakin' idiot!

Two bonus quotes because I couldn't cut them!

Napoleon Dynamite: What are you doing here, Uncle Rico?
Uncle Rico: Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.

Uncle Rico: Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.

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Kristin said...

I can hear every one of those lines as I read them! Great list!

YouCanCallMe...T said...

Absolutely one of the best and most original movies ever made. Ghost World and Nacho Libre are each reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite in several ways, but none of them hit the mark so dead-on in this genre. And I don't even know what you would call this genre. Weird-Deadpan-Surreal-Comedy", perhaps.

Stephanie said...

This movie is SO Funny!! Of course, I have a seriously warped sense of humor...but I love it!!

Thanks for making me smile!

L^2 said...

LOL That movie was so strange and funny! :-)

Anonymous said...

LOL! Too funny.

TeaMouse said...

That was funny - I forgot about some of those, it cheered me up a bit. :)

WendyWings said...

We love this movie, in fact I bought it for my son for Christmas. He says JESSSSSH your a frickin idiot all the time now just like Napoleon, probably not a good thing but oh well LOL

Mercy's Maid said...

ND is one of my favorite movies. I think it gets funnier every time I watch it.

I like the part where they're selling tupperware and they tell the lady she can get a free model ship with her purchase and she leans over to her husband and whispers, "I WANT THAT!" I say that all the time now. :)

Sonya said...

I've never seen the movie but I want to. Everyone tells me it is hilarious!

Toni said...

Great list! Wish I had thought of it!
Mine is up at Being An Air Force Wife!

Raggedy said...

Funny list.
Happy TT'ing
My TT is up too

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