Monday, May 21, 2007

10 Days


There are 10 days between now and the anniversary of Gus' death. Gus died last year on May 31st. Grieving has not been a bitter ordeal for me and I'm thankful for that. I know that some people can really struggle with the death of a child. Hear my heart here...I'm not saying that losing Gus has been easy. I am saying that I have not dwelt in that stage of grief where you are trying to place blame somewhere...on someone...something. I have been there but not for long. What is so tricky about grief is that there is no guarantee that I won't revisit that stage!


There's also no guarantee that those "crying spells" will hit you when you are at home, in private. Oh just the opposite is certainly going to happen and always when you least expect it! But, these "crying spells" are good for those who grieve. I embrace them!


So, if you see me crying in front of the shredded cheese section at the grocery store or at the back of the BloodMobile where all the snacks are....let your heart be glad because what you are seeing is my healing.


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11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bless you sweet Jenny! I was just thinking yesterday that the anniversary was close. I know you will handle it well. I am so sorry that you and your family had to experience such a terrible thing. But you should be so proud of how you have handled it and the good things you have done because of it.

I hope that all came out right.

Love ya!

Karen Putz said...

Hi Jenny,
Thanks for the blog visit. My heart goes out to you and your family for the loss of your son.

Deedra said...

Your son was such a beautiful baby. I can't even imagine how hard this upcoming anniversary is going to be. Praying for God to continue to wrap His loving arms around you and your family.

Sonya said...

I think you've done an incredible job with healing. I know you still have those days and I'm sure you always will. How cool is it to know now though that Gus is with God, completely healed, no pain, no crying, fully hearing all things, as healthy as ever....Glad sings this wonderful song called Faith Makes A Way. I'll have to download it for you. It goes a little something like Faith makes a way to stand when others fall apart, Faith makes a path of peace for the heavy hurting heart...sweet song and it now reminds me of you!

Lynne said...

My prayers are with you as you get through this time. I can't even comprehend this healing process. Keep your great spirit.

Nesting Momma said...

Jenny- I'm glad you stopped by my blog because it brought me here. As you may have read I have a friend of a friend who lost 3 children recently. It gives me hope for her and her husband that it is possible to grieve and not get swollowed up by the pain. Bless you for sharing!

Lizza said...

I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. Thank you for the blog visit, and thank you for sharing your story. Sending you warm and happy wishes and thoughts.

Amy said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. I can so relate to this post on grief. We lost Joshua at 9m old. He'd be 5 on the 29th. I had a complete breakdown last night because I realized I forgot his birthday. It's the little things that get to me now. But I'm better than I was! PTL!

JHS said...

Jenny: Thanks so much for participating in the Carnival of Family Life and sharing your post. It is so helpful for those of us who have never been through what you have to know what you are experiencing, how we can help. Blessings to you as the anniversary nears and on that day.

Anonymous said...

Jenny, thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. You are in my thoughts.

Holly Schwendiman said...

Wow - what strength you express. Although experience is the true teacher, you have done an amazing job teaching with what and how you have shared this. I wish you every rainbow.

Hugs,
Holly
Here via the Carnvial of Family Life. :)